Let me be your wings

     So this post is going to be pretty much about my boyfriend: Joygazmic. So as a little background; I met him a little over a month ago through a mutual friend of ours. We wound up having alot in common, and now he's the best boyfriend I've ever had. He and my mom have been talking over facebook and she said something that really surprised me. She thinks that joy is the one I"m going to marry someday. She honestly thinks that. At first the thought terrified me but the more I think about it the more I'm happy with the idea. I don't think I'll ever tell him though. (Don't want to scare him away). I can actually see a long-term future with him and I think that thought scares me. I'm so used to guys who keep me on a little string, where everyday I'd wake up and have to fight to keep them interested. But with Joy, I wake up everyday and I know he loves me. I don't have to worry or think i"m competing with someone. Its a great feeling to go to sleep every night and then wake up with that constant. I've even started acting like we're going to be together like that someday; I talk to him differently.
     I think the instant I fell truly in love was when I told him about a part of my past I hated. It was in front of one of our mutual friends and I had never felt so vulnerable. After I told him, I waited for his reaction. I expected him to call me a whore, or say it was all my fault, because that's what i had told myself so many times. I expected him to be mad. But he was quiet. I was afraid to look at him, but when I did, his face was blank. I could tell he was pissed, and I waited for him to walk away forever, but instead he said "Are you ok?" and I fell in love. I can't explain why, but the fact that he was more concerned with whether or not I was ok now, and not worried about the past, I fell in love. I knew he would take care of me, and I wanted to marry him. It sounds ridiculous doesn't it? haha
     Anyway, we have been talking for a while now, and I had to move away...but i know we're going to be ok. I'm honestly not worried one bit and that surprises me. he calls me princess. He has no idea how much I've always wanted to be called princess!!!! I grew up being sunshine girl and my sister was always princess.There really is no describing how he makes me feel....like thumbelina or Meg from hercules (two of my faves). I feel amazing with him beside me. He will probably never know the extent of it but he completes me very well. Like a missing puzzle piece...we just connect. he's at work right now and it's driving me crazy! lol but I will go find something else to do because talking about him is making me miss him more. I love him.